Wed., Oct. 1 will be my last day at UTW. I've accepted a position at the Tulsa Business Journal as Assistant Editor, and I'm really excited about the new opportunity. I'd been looking to move on for some time now, so I was surprised at the mixed emotions that sort of rushed at me when Stephen made the offer. I expected to feel overjoyed, and I did, but I also felt nervous and a little scared. I've spent two and a half years at UTW, and, until recently, they'd been really, really good years. I'd been so miserable of late that I'd sort of forgotten how much I used to love my job. In an instant, I was reminded of how much I've learned and grown while working here, and I'm very, very appreciative of that.
I'm also appreciative of where I'm going, of starting a new chapter and of working in an enviornment where I feel valued and respected. It's almost funny that, while interviewing for TBJ, I was all-of-a-sudden reminded that I am someone with experience and talent. I am someone worth having as an employee who has a lot to offer any company. Dammit! It's crazy that I had somehow forgotten all these things. And I didn't realize I had forgotten until I remembered.
It hasn't all been bad, but the last few months haven't been good. I'm excited to move on to a less stressful, more rewarding work enviornment. I'm tired of going home angry and of having my work life affect my home life. When my home life revolves around my son, it's not worth it to be unhappy.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Green Tulsa
I started a new blog called Green Tulsa (http://greentulsa.blogspot.com) after hearing about an blog started and maintained by the Oklahoma Sustainability Network called Fresh Greens (http://freshgreens.typepad.com). Fresh Greens involves various members of OSN blogging about sustainability issues specific to Oklahoma City, and I hope Green Tulsa will do the same for Tulsa.
This is one of those instances where, after hearing about Fresh Greens, I asked if there is anything similar to it in Tulsa. Then someone said, "Why don't you start one?" And so, I've added yet another thing to my list.
I've got a handful of people who've said they'd be willing to contribute monthly blogs, but so far, only one person has actually sent me something (but it's not posted yet). If you or anyone you know is interested in participating, I'd love to have some more help.
Until then, please visit the blog and leave your comments and constructive criticisms!
This is one of those instances where, after hearing about Fresh Greens, I asked if there is anything similar to it in Tulsa. Then someone said, "Why don't you start one?" And so, I've added yet another thing to my list.
I've got a handful of people who've said they'd be willing to contribute monthly blogs, but so far, only one person has actually sent me something (but it's not posted yet). If you or anyone you know is interested in participating, I'd love to have some more help.
Until then, please visit the blog and leave your comments and constructive criticisms!
Friday, September 12, 2008
THANKFUL THURSDAYS: the week in gratitude
Okay, I know it's not Thursday, but I liked Tasha's idea of theme days, and I have a lot to be grateful for, so I'm doing it anyway.
1. Isaac's health
2. Isaac's smiles
3. Isaac's laughter
4. Isaac's grandparents, both my parents and John's parents. I'm grateful that my parents watch him every day while I'm at work and that John's parents watch him any time I'll let them. I'm grateful for the love they have for him and for the support they give John and me.
5. New opportunities (or the promise of such)
6. Fellow mommies, good friends
7. The weekend
8. Being nearly finished with the Annual Manual
1. Isaac's health
2. Isaac's smiles
3. Isaac's laughter
4. Isaac's grandparents, both my parents and John's parents. I'm grateful that my parents watch him every day while I'm at work and that John's parents watch him any time I'll let them. I'm grateful for the love they have for him and for the support they give John and me.
5. New opportunities (or the promise of such)
6. Fellow mommies, good friends
7. The weekend
8. Being nearly finished with the Annual Manual
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
More of Isaac's Incredible Feats (not feets)
We went to the doctor today, and Mr. Isaac weighed in at 15 pounds and is 27 inches long. As Dr. Ludlow gave him his OMT, I talked about some of the developmental milestones Isaac is reaching, and she was very encouraging, assuring me that, yes, my baby is the only baby to have ever done those things. Okay, maybe she didn't go that far, but she was encouraging and reminded me how even the smallest things can be such a big deal and how quickly we forget them.
Well, thank goodness for my blog. Isaac and I will never forget a moment of his childhood, thanks to his mother's careful documentation. He probably won't care, when he's older, how old he was when he took his first step or made his first sound, and the people reading this probably don't care, either (though I thank you for pacifying me), but I certainly care. Last night, after I wrote the entry about Isaac's amazing acrobatics, I read through all of my pregnancy journal entries, a feeling of nostalgia washing over me as I read. They weren't written that long ago, but already I'd forgotten the magic I felt while writing them. I hadn't forgotten what a miraculous experience being pregnant was; rather, I'd forgotten the detailed emotion embedded in each moment. I'm glad I wrote it down. I wish I'd written more often.
I need to write more often about Isaac. Everyone talks about how quickly babies grow into children. Even I was casually spouting off the other night how, in only a couple of years, Isaac won't be so needy and I'll be my own person again, separate from this little life that clings so desperately to me now. Later, I thought about what I had said. Rather than anticipate the freedom of Isaac's maturity, I was saddened by the fact that, in a few years, he really won't need me as much as he does now. In fact, it probably won't be too long before he wants nothing to do with me, him being so cool and his mom cramping his style and all. So, I no longer look forward to baby-free outings. Sure, I enjoy them when they come along, but I don't crave them. I appreciate every moment Isaac needs me and that I have the privilege of being his mommy.
And I said all of that, really, to say that I'd missed out on writing down some of Isaac's most recent accomplishments. Here's a list:
1. In addition to rolling over, Isaac is also holding his head steady while on his tummy and lifting his shoulders with his arms.
2. He can almost crawl. Okay, not really, but every time I leave him on his tummy and go to a different room, even if only for a minute, by the time I come back, he's either inched his way forward a foot or spun himself in a complete circle. He keeps his forehead on the ground and kicks off with his legs, propelling himself forward inch by inch. More recently, he's begun pushing himself backwards with his arms. I'm out shopping for room-sized tummy time mats.
3. Last week, when he was really learning to hold his head and shoulders up, he'd get up on his left hand and his right elbow, lift his shoulders and look around, then drop his head back to the floor so quickly and suddenly that it landed with a soft thud. It was as though his neck just couldn't handle the strain for very long and would give out after about 30 seconds. He'd lift his head again, then drop it back to the ground with another thud. He'd do this about four or five times before getting tired and cranky.
Well, thank goodness for my blog. Isaac and I will never forget a moment of his childhood, thanks to his mother's careful documentation. He probably won't care, when he's older, how old he was when he took his first step or made his first sound, and the people reading this probably don't care, either (though I thank you for pacifying me), but I certainly care. Last night, after I wrote the entry about Isaac's amazing acrobatics, I read through all of my pregnancy journal entries, a feeling of nostalgia washing over me as I read. They weren't written that long ago, but already I'd forgotten the magic I felt while writing them. I hadn't forgotten what a miraculous experience being pregnant was; rather, I'd forgotten the detailed emotion embedded in each moment. I'm glad I wrote it down. I wish I'd written more often.
I need to write more often about Isaac. Everyone talks about how quickly babies grow into children. Even I was casually spouting off the other night how, in only a couple of years, Isaac won't be so needy and I'll be my own person again, separate from this little life that clings so desperately to me now. Later, I thought about what I had said. Rather than anticipate the freedom of Isaac's maturity, I was saddened by the fact that, in a few years, he really won't need me as much as he does now. In fact, it probably won't be too long before he wants nothing to do with me, him being so cool and his mom cramping his style and all. So, I no longer look forward to baby-free outings. Sure, I enjoy them when they come along, but I don't crave them. I appreciate every moment Isaac needs me and that I have the privilege of being his mommy.
And I said all of that, really, to say that I'd missed out on writing down some of Isaac's most recent accomplishments. Here's a list:
1. In addition to rolling over, Isaac is also holding his head steady while on his tummy and lifting his shoulders with his arms.
2. He can almost crawl. Okay, not really, but every time I leave him on his tummy and go to a different room, even if only for a minute, by the time I come back, he's either inched his way forward a foot or spun himself in a complete circle. He keeps his forehead on the ground and kicks off with his legs, propelling himself forward inch by inch. More recently, he's begun pushing himself backwards with his arms. I'm out shopping for room-sized tummy time mats.
3. Last week, when he was really learning to hold his head and shoulders up, he'd get up on his left hand and his right elbow, lift his shoulders and look around, then drop his head back to the floor so quickly and suddenly that it landed with a soft thud. It was as though his neck just couldn't handle the strain for very long and would give out after about 30 seconds. He'd lift his head again, then drop it back to the ground with another thud. He'd do this about four or five times before getting tired and cranky.
The World's Most Amazing Baby
I wrote this yesterday evening...
Isaac rolled over today. All by himself. When I arrived at my parents’ house this afternoon to pick him up, my mom told me he rolled over during tummy time. I made a deal with myself, though, that, if Isaac did something for the first time while I was at work, it doesn’t count. It only counts if I see it. If he does it while I’m there, then it’s the first time.
Still at my parents’ house, I put him on his tummy on a blanket on the floor and watched as he struggled to hoist his little body over onto his back. He’d stick his butt up in the air, bringing his knees forward to his chest, and kick off with his feet, attempting to catapult his body to the side (the right side) and onto his back. It took about five attempts, and he rolled over. I screamed and clapped and praised him relentlessly. He looked a little unnerved by my reaction, like he wasn’t sure what the big deal was. I rolled him back over on his tummy, and, after about four tries, he rolled over onto his back again. I clapped and cheered and told him what a smart, strong, amazing baby boy his was. Obviously this was the first time in the history of the world a baby ever rolled over. It was his momma’s proudest moment thus far.
Of course, I rolled him over again, hoping to see him accomplish this amazing feat just one more time, but he seemed tired and annoyed, and he fussed as he attempted to launch his body over. After the third attempt, when he was about three-quarters of the way over, I gave him a little push to help him onto his back. Yes, I know he could have done it himself, but I felt a fit coming on that I wanted to avoid. I didn’t even think to grab the camera; I was so caught up in the moment. Next time I’ll be sure to provide photographic proof of his accomplishment.
He’s also trying more and more to sit up. I’ve stopped putting him in his bouncy seat so much because I worry that forcing him into such a reclined position might keep him from sitting up. But even when I do set him in it, he attempts to sit up, pulling his body up straight and tight before losing his balance and falling over to the side. I straighten him out and he does it all over again. I put him in his Bumbo more and more now and set him in front of this mirrored, blinking, music-playing toy I got for him at the Just Between Friends sale. He kicks it and hits the buttons to make it light up and play nursery rhymes. He’s become much more interested in toys over the last couple of weeks, and our prized possession is this Leap Frog caterpillar also purchased at the sale. I mean it when I say “we.” I love that thing as much (maybe more) as he does.
Speaking of the sale, I went last Saturday on half-price day and got tons and tons of winter clothes in 6-9 months, and I’ve put him in a couple of sleepers (he gets colder in his crib than he did sleeping with me), and they already fit him. Now I’m worried that by the time it’s cold enough to wear all of the clothes I bought, they’ll be too small and he’ll have to go all winter stark naked. I’m thinking of swinging by the Broken Arrow sale this weekend and picking up a few things in 12 months just in case. I love an excuse to shop for my little man.
Isaac rolled over today. All by himself. When I arrived at my parents’ house this afternoon to pick him up, my mom told me he rolled over during tummy time. I made a deal with myself, though, that, if Isaac did something for the first time while I was at work, it doesn’t count. It only counts if I see it. If he does it while I’m there, then it’s the first time.
Still at my parents’ house, I put him on his tummy on a blanket on the floor and watched as he struggled to hoist his little body over onto his back. He’d stick his butt up in the air, bringing his knees forward to his chest, and kick off with his feet, attempting to catapult his body to the side (the right side) and onto his back. It took about five attempts, and he rolled over. I screamed and clapped and praised him relentlessly. He looked a little unnerved by my reaction, like he wasn’t sure what the big deal was. I rolled him back over on his tummy, and, after about four tries, he rolled over onto his back again. I clapped and cheered and told him what a smart, strong, amazing baby boy his was. Obviously this was the first time in the history of the world a baby ever rolled over. It was his momma’s proudest moment thus far.
Of course, I rolled him over again, hoping to see him accomplish this amazing feat just one more time, but he seemed tired and annoyed, and he fussed as he attempted to launch his body over. After the third attempt, when he was about three-quarters of the way over, I gave him a little push to help him onto his back. Yes, I know he could have done it himself, but I felt a fit coming on that I wanted to avoid. I didn’t even think to grab the camera; I was so caught up in the moment. Next time I’ll be sure to provide photographic proof of his accomplishment.
He’s also trying more and more to sit up. I’ve stopped putting him in his bouncy seat so much because I worry that forcing him into such a reclined position might keep him from sitting up. But even when I do set him in it, he attempts to sit up, pulling his body up straight and tight before losing his balance and falling over to the side. I straighten him out and he does it all over again. I put him in his Bumbo more and more now and set him in front of this mirrored, blinking, music-playing toy I got for him at the Just Between Friends sale. He kicks it and hits the buttons to make it light up and play nursery rhymes. He’s become much more interested in toys over the last couple of weeks, and our prized possession is this Leap Frog caterpillar also purchased at the sale. I mean it when I say “we.” I love that thing as much (maybe more) as he does.
Speaking of the sale, I went last Saturday on half-price day and got tons and tons of winter clothes in 6-9 months, and I’ve put him in a couple of sleepers (he gets colder in his crib than he did sleeping with me), and they already fit him. Now I’m worried that by the time it’s cold enough to wear all of the clothes I bought, they’ll be too small and he’ll have to go all winter stark naked. I’m thinking of swinging by the Broken Arrow sale this weekend and picking up a few things in 12 months just in case. I love an excuse to shop for my little man.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Independent Sleeping Experiment: Part 2
Isaac did well last night. I got him down at about 9:15 after a long, loud trip home from grandma and grandpa's. He woke up three times between 9:15 and 10:15 and then didn't wake up again until 2:40. I had the same anxious feeling I'd had the night before, not having him in my bed, and I laid there awake for a good 30 minutes before I finally went in and checked on him. I'd been trying to stay out of his room for fear of waking him up, but, just once, I had go to put my hand on his tummy and assure myself he was still breathing and everything was okay. It was, of course. After that, I fell asleep and slept pretty well. After his 2:40 waking, he woke up again at about 5:30. Then, I brought him to bed, nursed him, and we (over)slept until about 7am.
All in all, not a bad night. I am considering moving him to the cradle that's still in our bedroom so I'll stop freaking out so much about the ridiculous, unknown perils I imagine await him in his own room. That, or I could just get a grip. Either one. We'll see.
John still slept on the couch.
All in all, not a bad night. I am considering moving him to the cradle that's still in our bedroom so I'll stop freaking out so much about the ridiculous, unknown perils I imagine await him in his own room. That, or I could just get a grip. Either one. We'll see.
John still slept on the couch.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Who needs sleep?
Isaac slept in his crib for the first time last night. We had only started cosleeping because I couldn't find any other way to get him to sleep at night. It worked for a while, but for the past three or four weeks he's been waking up every two hours again, just as he did when he was a newborn. I started to wonder if sleeping so close to me wasn't keeping him up now instead of helping him sleep. Wondering if, every time I moved, I woke him up, which woke me up. I thought I'd experiment to see if sleeping in his crib would help him sleep better. And help me sleep better. Also, I'd been thinking about transitioning him out of the bed and transitioning John back in. John hasn't slept in the bed since Isaac started sleeping there.
So, last night I tossed everything that was in his crib on the floor (I'd been using it as storage, since he wasn't sleeping in it anyway), yanked the crib bumper out, turned on the night light and prepared for a long battle. The first time I got him down, it was about 9pm. I left his room with mixed feelings. In a way, I was excited about the prospect of getting some sleep, but I was also kind of depressed. I missed Isaac. I enjoyed having him in my bed, even if we were constantly waking up. But I realized I may be cosleeping because it's better for me, and not necessarily because it's better for Isaac. I know my little man needs to sleep, and I want to do whatever I can to help him sleep. But I definitely missed having him in bed.
I was also, of course, running through my mind all of the horrible things that could happen to him in his sleep, without me right next to him. I was worrying myself sick about SIDS when, to make matters worse, I found John in the living room watching a Discovery Health program about a man who almost lost his leg to a brown recluse bite. So then I start thinking Isaac's going to be bitten by a spider or other horrible creature, all the while remembering a story I'd heard about a snake that got into a baby's bed and wrapped itself around the baby's little body. I was a nervous wreck, and John just shook his head, thinking I was absolutely crazy to be so worried.
I didn't have to worry long. Isaac was up again by 10. Then again at 11. And again at 12. I finally went to sleep at 12 and didn't wake up again until I heard him at 5am. I was excited that he'd slept five hours. Maybe there's something to this crib sleeping, I thought. Then I realized, he was sleeping in the opposite direction I had left him. John said he woke up at about 1am, but John got to him before he could wake me up. When he woke up at 5, I just brought him to bed with me, and by 7, we were up for the day. So, four hours. I'm not sure he did any better than he would have in bed with me, but I figured we'd try it a few more nights. If there's a chance it's going to help him sleep better, then I want to try it.
The funny thing? After all that, John still slept on the couch. I think it's become a habit.
So, last night I tossed everything that was in his crib on the floor (I'd been using it as storage, since he wasn't sleeping in it anyway), yanked the crib bumper out, turned on the night light and prepared for a long battle. The first time I got him down, it was about 9pm. I left his room with mixed feelings. In a way, I was excited about the prospect of getting some sleep, but I was also kind of depressed. I missed Isaac. I enjoyed having him in my bed, even if we were constantly waking up. But I realized I may be cosleeping because it's better for me, and not necessarily because it's better for Isaac. I know my little man needs to sleep, and I want to do whatever I can to help him sleep. But I definitely missed having him in bed.
I was also, of course, running through my mind all of the horrible things that could happen to him in his sleep, without me right next to him. I was worrying myself sick about SIDS when, to make matters worse, I found John in the living room watching a Discovery Health program about a man who almost lost his leg to a brown recluse bite. So then I start thinking Isaac's going to be bitten by a spider or other horrible creature, all the while remembering a story I'd heard about a snake that got into a baby's bed and wrapped itself around the baby's little body. I was a nervous wreck, and John just shook his head, thinking I was absolutely crazy to be so worried.
I didn't have to worry long. Isaac was up again by 10. Then again at 11. And again at 12. I finally went to sleep at 12 and didn't wake up again until I heard him at 5am. I was excited that he'd slept five hours. Maybe there's something to this crib sleeping, I thought. Then I realized, he was sleeping in the opposite direction I had left him. John said he woke up at about 1am, but John got to him before he could wake me up. When he woke up at 5, I just brought him to bed with me, and by 7, we were up for the day. So, four hours. I'm not sure he did any better than he would have in bed with me, but I figured we'd try it a few more nights. If there's a chance it's going to help him sleep better, then I want to try it.
The funny thing? After all that, John still slept on the couch. I think it's become a habit.
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