Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Why I hate technology. (And dating.)

Isaac and I stayed home alone tonight, New Year's Eve. By choice. There is absolutely nothing going on that I would rather do than be at home with my Little Man on his first New Year's Eve. He's already asleep, but you'd better believe that, at midnight (provided I last that long) I'm sneaking into his room (oh, who am I kidding... my room) and getting my first kiss of the new year.

I was actually (sort of) asked out on a date (I think) for tonight. A guy I met recently through a friend mentioned dinner and a concert, but he asked me out via text message. Here's how it went down:

Him: What r your New Year plans?

Me: None. Just stay home with the kiddo. Nothing going on.

Him: Ya not much going on here in Tulsa. I may hang at
(friend's name).Or i wanted 2 take u 2 dinner and check out Dustin Pittsley.

(Day-long silence.)

I thought about it for a really long time before declining. I think I blamed it on not having a babysitter. But really, the idea of going out on a date still didn't sound as good as staying home with the LM. And, yeah, I'm scared. Dating is awkward and weird and terrifying when you haven't done it in almost three years.

Plus, was I really supposed to interpret his text message as an invitation to a date? I'm sorry, but, to me, that just seems kind of lazy. And I don't think it should be that casual. I mean, yeah, I'm liberal, progressive, a feminist, all that and more, but I still think when a guy asks me out on a date, he should really ask me. Like, call me up or see me in person and say the words, "Would you like to have dinner Friday?" There should at least be some sort of personal communication.

I've been out on one date since I split up with John, and the thing was arranged through Myspace messages. Seriously. I kind of let it slide because the guy did call me three or four times before that and ask me out, but we could never get our schedules synchronized. I started our latest correspondence by sending him a message in response to something I'd seen on his profile, and that led to him asking me to dinner.

But still, my only two prospects as a single woman involved some strange, vapid form of communication where the guy didn't actually have to speak to me. Is a verbal conversation too much to ask for in 2008? Then what does 2009 have in store for me?

I think both of these guys were trying to play it cool and act casual. They probably didn't want to put too much pressure on me or on themselves. And I can understand that. I think that any guy who is thinking about asking out a single mom probably worries that she is more likely to get attached quickly than a woman without a kid because she's looking for a daddy for her squirt or something. I think they should know that I'm way more hesitant now to get involved than I was before Isaac because it's not just me anymore. But, I'm not out looking for someone. And I'm definitely not taking any first dates too seriously. But, if I don't think there's a chance I could have a future with someone, I'm not going to be too eager to go out on any second dates.

I like each of these guys okay. Not enough to make my knees shake or anything (that's what's supposed to happen, right? I don't really remember). Probably not enough to go out on a second (or first) date. I don't think I could like someone who asked me out via text message that much. I think it's just a red flag, warning me that he's definitely not the guy for me.

Anyway, Happy New Year to everyone! Bust making my resolutions now and watching gooey, icky couples on TV who proposed in Times Square tonight talk about their wedding plans. Ugh.



Natasha said...

A+, Holly. Smart, pretty women like you don't go on dates with guys who would even think texting to ask someone to dinner is okay, let alone actually try it. Yikes. Crisis averted!

Did you get your first kiss of the year from your handsome little man this morning?

hwall said...

You'd better believe it! Best kiss of the year!

cyclefreaks said...

My best friend is having similar problems. She "met" someone through who seemed interesting, but he arranged their entire first date via text messages. She went, and it was just as boring as you would expect from someone who planned a date that way.

Plus, if a guy's going to do it that way, he could at least spell the words right. I loathe text shorthand.

hwall said...

So funny, Steph. I am one of those people who use unnecessarily long words when texting, but then I refuse to spell out words like "to" or "for." I don't text all that much. I am soooo sloooowwww at it.


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