Tuesday, November 18, 2008

500 words on: Why I Need to Marry a Doctor

It’s not about money, really. I mean, money would be nice, but I’ve pretty much relinquished myself to the fact that I’ll never have any. Or I’ll never have much. Hell, even if I were to find a doctor who wanted to marry me, I’d probably fall for the guy practicing for free in some sorely underserved part of the city, rather than a brain surgeon making hundreds of dollars and hour (or however much brain surgeons make. I obviously don’t, and probably never will, know).

No, I want to marry a doctor because I absolutely despise going to the doctor. To me, it’s just a hassle. And right now, since my insurance doesn’t kick in for another two months, it’s an expensive hassle. But even when I had insurance, other than during my pregnancy when I obsessed about going to the doctor and probably went more often than I should just to make sure everything was okay in there, I still made visiting the doctor a last resort option.

It’s so much easier to Google my symptoms and self-diagnose. I realize this is probably not healthy, especially for someone who may have inherited a bit of her mother’s hypochondria. (Mother is, incidentally, the one who taught me to self-diagnose. She introduced me to many a home medical volume, which she and I would both use to discover we have twelve types of cancer and various other fatal ailments.)

When I am actually sick, which is much less often than I think I am sick, I find I’d rather let the sickness run its natural course rather than attempt to stifle it with any medication stronger than Advil Cold and Flu or vitamin C. It’s a lot easier than making the trip to the doctor, who’s just going to hand me something only a bit stronger and tell me to let it run its course.

But were I married to a doctor, or had a close friend or family member who happened to be a doctor, I could call on a whim and either verify a self-diagnosis or actually receive some sort of consultation/appointment/treatment without having to expose myself to any situations I find annoying, inconvenient or outright intolerable. And, I wouldn’t have to worry about payment!

Yes, I could use a doctor husband right about now. Earlier, when I was pumping, I felt a hard knot in my right breast. I can still feel it, actually. I’ve never felt it before, and it’s likely just a clogged duct, but it sure would be nice to find out for sure. I may have to fork over some dough for this one. Unless anyone reading this happens to be a doctor and is not completely weirded out by my need for a breast exam? I promise you don’t have to marry me. Unless you want to.

(P.S. In case you're wondering if I'm a bad mother who doesn't take Isaac to the doctor, I'm not. Completely different situation there. I take much better care of him than I do of myself.)


Tina said...

I have a friend who used to do work with La Leche League (and has two kids she breastfed) - if there's anyone who knows anything about the connection between lumps in boobs and breastfeeding, its those folks.

I'll drop her a line and let you know what she says.

(By the way, my email is chemicalpink(at)gmail(dot)com - yes, I am paranoid about spam emails.)

Tina said...

just got an email back from my friend, and I'll quote her here for you.

"And yes, that is probably a plugged duct. She needs to nurse a lot on that side, and put the baby’s chin lined up below it, so it gets sucked on most. She should watch CAREFULLY and if it gets red, or she gets a fever, she needs to get seen by someone, ‘cause it is mastitis then, and she will need antibiotics. It just happens sometimes. If she goes to www.llli.org she might find good info on plugged ducts. Anyway, this challenge can easily be met, and nursing more frequently is the best thing to do—sometimes you get plugged ducts from stress, from nursing less often than before, or from stuff like carrying a shoulder bag in a way that presses on your breast (purses can do that to you, also some baby carriers). "

Natasha said...

If it hasn't changed size much and if it hurts some and if it's close to the surface, chalk it up to a clogged duct. If not, pull out that cash, missy. If you're like me, and I have a few dozen reasons to think you probably are, you won't rest easy until you do. Peace of mind is worth it, IMO.

hwall said...

I think it was a clogged duct. It hurt for a couple of days and kept moving around, but now I can't feel it at all. And this is not the first time this is happened. :) Thanks to everyone for the concern and to cousin Tina for the research! :)


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