Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The last time I tried this blogging thing, it was in an attempt to supplement the arts writing I was doing for Urban Tulsa Weekly with additional reviews, previews and all around performance and visual arts coverage. If anyone actually read that blog, you know it didn't go very well. I think I made one entry. It wasn't that I didn't have ample material to cover; I just got so busy with other things that the blog kept getting pushed back farther and farther in my mind until I just abandoned it altogether. I'm trying again, but this time it has nothing to do with UTW; it has instead to do with absolutely everyhting else.

As of right now, I am seventeen days from giving birth to my son, Isaac. Being pregnant, though it came as a shock, has been such a wonderful experience. I've complained a lot about little things--the pain in my ribs and pelvis expanding to accommodate my ever-growing belly, the endlessly swollen feet and ankles, the exhaustion, the few tiny stretch marks that have only appeared in these last few weeks, the heartburn--but I couldn't have asked for a better, easier, more healthy pregnancy, to be completely honest. It has been incredibly fun watching my belly grow on an almost daily basis, and to feel and see this little person kicking and squirming around inside of me. Part of me knows I'll miss it a little bit when Isaac is born, but I know that feeling won't compare to the joy of finally having my son in my life and in my arms.

At the very beginning of the pregnancy, I was completely terrified of the birth process. I thought, "Okay, I can handle being pregnant. But I don't even want to think about giving birth." But I think God allows women nine months of pregnancy to give them time to get used to and prepared for their children's birth. John and I have been through classes and read a number of books, and I honestly feel like we are completely ready for our son's arrival.

I've made the decision to have Isaac naturally, without an epidural. If you asked me seven months ago what my birthplan was, I would have told you I wanted nothing more and nothing less than an IV in my back, pumping me full of pain-relieving medication. But the more I've read and learned about the birthing process, the more strongly I feel about natural childbirth and its benefits for me and my baby. When I tell friends and even some family about my decision, their automatic response is to tell me I'm crazy or even try to talk me out of it, but I feel one hundred percent at peace with my decision. And I've received support from a couple of friends who have delievered their babies naturally and had great experiences doing so. Their support and advice are invaluable to me. I know births don't always go the way you plan them to, but it's my hope to have Isaac naturally, with as little medical intervention as possible. And I feel very blessed to have Dr. Lora Larson as my doctor. My experience with her so far could not have been better. And having John's support is the most important thing to me. I couldn't do it without that.

John and I are so excited to be parents. And I can't wait to see what kind of parents we'll be (good ones, I hope!). I have a lot of ideas about how I want to raise Isaac, but I know I won't really know who I am as a mother until he gets here. And I can't wait to meet that person.

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